Question Box: What if a married couple does not want children?

Q. What if a married couple does not want children?

Before I get into that, I'd like to reiterate a bit why Mormons do have children and the importance that is placed on the family.

As is stated in The Family: A Proclamation to the World: "We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force." I think that speaks for itself: Mormons believe that it is God's will that we have children.

Children are a blessing. They are such a source of joy. Parenting is, by no means an easy task. And when my toddlers are screaming and fighting each other while the baby's crying to be fed and dinner's on the stove and the phone is ringing, I would say that no high-powered CEO has higher stress levels! But it is a challenge with wondrously rich rewards. Children help teach us humility and selflessness. In teaching our children to come to Christ, we become more sure of our own testimonies. I don't mean this patronizingly, but if you don't have children of your own, I don't think you can truly understand the profound depth of the emotion of looking into your newborn's face and seeing that first smile or hearing your sweet, innocent toddler come tell you "I love you". Seeing your children making good decisions and knowing that you're doing an okay job raising them is so fulfilling and rewarding. I have to be honest, I don't really understand why anyone wouldn't want these blessings.

However, it takes all types and not everyone in the world is like me. Variety truly is the spice of life and there are those who don't wish to have children. For some, it may be an issue of feeling inadequate and being intimidated by the idea of parenting. For others it may just be wanting to sacrifice the time and money that raising children requires. I don't know all the reasons why but I know that children will bless your life. I know that God will help those who feel inadequate rise to the task. I would never suggest that a couple have children when they're not prepared for parenting to some degree, even if most of that preparation is simply the desire to be good parents. Remember that God can change a heart that is willing to submit to His will. He can prepare a couple for parenting and foster in them a desire to be good parents just as He can work other miracles.

A couple who doesn't want children will not be scorned in the Church. Everyone is entitled to their choices. The choice to have children and how many to have are ultimately decisions solely between the couple and God. But remember, it is God's will that we multiply and fill the earth. And those who, for selfish reasons, do not desire to have children would do well to remember the rich man who came to Christ and was told to sacrifice all his riches: Christ requires sacrifice and selflessness of those who would call themselves His followers. I would encourage couples to remember this, and pray for the Lord's direction and guidance in this personal matter. He will help you sacrifice and come to Him.

Indeed, I think that part of the blessing parenting affords is a closer relationship with the Lord as we learn to rely on His guidance and direction to bring our children up in righteousness. We also come to understand to some minute degree His position as Father of us all.

Question Box: Birth Control

Q. I am a non-member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints but looking into it. I was wondering: I'm on birth control for regulation of the menstrual cycle. What is the belief Mormons have on this?

The official church stance on birth control is that this is a decision to be made solely between husband, wife and the Lord. We believe that children are a wonderful blessing and that the commandment God gave to Adam and Eve to multiply and replenish the earth is still in force today. Husband and wife are encouraged to ponder the blessing that children bring and take the decision to God in prayer.

Members are reminded that finances, schooling and other worldly concerns are not God's concerns. Sometimes faith is required when the world would say, "That doesn't seem wise, considering your circumstances." I have known couples who have waited to begin their families until their positions become more secure and I have known couples who have started their families despite many secular obstacles. It is not the position of any outsider to make a judgment on such a private, individual matter. What is right for one couple may not be right for another.

Sexual intimacy brings new life into the world, but that is not its sole purpose. God intends sexual relations also to be an expression of love between husband and wife, an important part of a loving, faithful, flourishing marriage.

What Do Mormons Believe? - God the Father

There seem to be a lot of people these days, that get all wound up when we try to claim we're Christians. We say, "We believe in Jesus Christ; isn't that the basic thing that distinguishes us from, say Muslims, Buddhists, Jews, and Hindus?"

"No! You believe you can become Gods," they retort.

They view this as heretical; we don't see the problem. I think it boils down to our conception of who God is.

Many outside our faith see Him as a faceless, nebulous mass, who has no personality, passions, body parts, etc. He has all power and can therefore be everywhere and nowhere at the same time. He is often represented as an unknowable, and unpredictable force and he created us so he would have groupies to worship him.

Let me assure you, Mormons do not hope to become this sort of "God."

We view Him as a parent. He is a nice person. He has a distinct face and a real, corporeal body. Although He is omniscient and omnipotent, we know that he uses this power primarily for the advancement of his sons and daughters. His work and His glory, he tells us, is "to bring about the immortality and eternal life of man." Moses 1:39

He loves us because we are His children. We are not just 'things' he created so that we would constantly worship Him. As children (instead of creations) we have the capacity, inherent within us, to become like Him. Each of us does -- not just Mormons.